Creating Habits, Establishing Patterns

 Creating Habits, Establishing Patterns

Given the heavy burdens on both parents, it is particularly crucial for the family's routines and rituals to prioritize the health and happiness of all members. A review of fifty years of family studies found that routines help families stay organized, divide up responsibilities, and alleviate stress. According to a research review published in the Journal of Family Psychology by the American Psychological Association (APA), families that adhere to regular routines tend to have happier marriages, healthier children, more successful students, and closer family bonds.

Barbara H. Fiese, Ph.D., a psychologist, says that "Routines involve instrumental communication conveying information that 'this is what needs to be done' and involve a momentary time commitment so that once the act is completed, there is little, if any, afterthought."

Emphasizing the importance of "little, if any, afterthought!" It is not difficult for me to prepare a dinner for my family every night because I enjoy cooking. But, not everyone takes pleasure in cooking or even loves the mental effort required to plan a meal. Routines that need minimal mental effort are necessary to transform cooking from a mundane task into a thrilling adventure.

Making Customs

A simple habit that can have a huge impact is making sure everyone eats supper together at least five times a day. Sharing a meal together may bring people together in harmony and balance, while children can open up about their day, adults can learn more about current events, and everyone can think critically when they talk about them. "Rituals,... involve symbolic communication and convey 'this is who we are' as a group and provide continuity in meaning across generations," writes Fiesse, describing how routines can become rituals once they become regular occurrences. On top of that, after the act is over, the person may feel an emotional attachment to it and want to relive it just to feel good again.

As soon as eating together at dinnertime becomes second nature, the cook (and everyone else) may look forward to the ritual rather than dreading it.

There are a number of ways that my family has established dinnertime rituals and routines. The game of hearts or long standing rummy is our favorite. We play a minimum of eight hands every time we have supper together, keeping track and adding it to the victories from the night before. Our goal is to break the record for the longest continuous game of hearts or rummy; it would be in the Guinness Book of World Records! In order to make dinnertime more enjoyable for everyone, there are additional things to do:

For kids of a younger age:Have the little ones decorate napkin rings to make them feel like they're part of the family dinner. Have your little one color or paint on half-empty toilet paper rolls. Get them to write the names of the people on them if they're old enough.Listen to a short story told aloud by an older sibling or an adult just after supper, before you do any homework or housework. It's a terrific way to encourage your kid to consume all of their food.While you're eating supper, have everyone in the family bring a joke to share.



For youths in their adolescent years:Get the kids to guess a new word. The initial round of guessing at its significance is always entertaining. After the youngster explains what it means, the group utilizes it in a phrase.Make a "Jeopardy!" game that you can publish. As a group, we guess the question and then everyone pitches in with their answer. The name of this city is both a queen's and a city's, for instance. The correct response would be, "What is Victoria?" If you find it difficult to come up with answers and would prefer to ask straightforward questions, games such as Brain Quest have questions already prepared.Throw a wild dinner party once a month. Consider inviting relatives or acquaintances of the family. The evening is a mash-up, and everyone dresses to impress. Dessert first, spaghetti sauce garnished with flowers, purple noodles, etc.A more serious academic suggestion: bring a current subject to dinner and start a conversation about it, whether it's a child's or an adult's. Motivate imaginative problem-solving by posing inquiries.While eating, have a game. To ensure that everyone at the table has a good view of the game board, we place a "Lazy Susan" in the middle and spin it around. Playing games like Scrabble, Oxford Dilemma, Tribond, Cribbage, Quiddler, or Trivial Pursuit can help stimulate your brain.



Establishing rituals out of regular dinnertime activities is a great approach to strengthen family bonds. It promotes balance and harmony and opens up communication within the family. In a harmonious home, everyone is more than happy to pitch in and help prepare nutritious meals, and the cook's position grows in importance and significance as the mealtime rituals progress. My website, www.thehealingkitchen.ca, has further details on menu planning if you're interested.

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